The Art of Loving as Three. Me, You and Us by Maria del Mar Cegarra Cervantes

Author:Maria del Mar Cegarra Cervantes
Language: spa
Format: epub
Published: 2018-04-02T13:35:17+00:00

Chapter VIII

Some days passed and we are getting closer to the family holidays. August is the month when Laura and Tomás can stop because of the kids. Laura tries to face this period of rest as something natural and not as the “glass of water that we drink after crossing the desert”. She knows that if she does so, the holidays will “not seem enough” and will not be duly reparative. Alternatively, she tries to find oxygen balloons by having relaxation moments during the day, or throughout the year. They are simple things such as little breaks between sessions, when she stays for a little while on the balcony bathed by the sun or by the rain, or when she takes a walk in a garden near the practice. She also tries to walk and go up and down the stairs without using the elevator. And, of course, she tries to meditate for several periods (sometimes short), during the day. She usually does it as well in the mornings, when she has more time. She does it without rigidity, but with consistency. Laura sees around eight clients per day. She needs, therefore, to take good care of her rhythm, otherwise, she runs out of energy and has to make too much effort. She perfectly knows that when she disrespects this need, the sessions don’t go so well, and her attention to detail (something that is extremely important), is not so effective, and hence the process is not so deep.

Being a psychotherapist, and especially a body psychotherapist, is very demanding. The body psychotherapist has to be continuously watching himself, since his body is also a work instrument that gives much information about what is happening, about the way it is affected by what is happening in the room or with the client… The psychotherapist needs to know how to move, touch, put, be in resonance, tell the difference between what is his and might “contaminate” what is the client’s. He has to know how to take care of his tone of voice, gestures and look.

Everything can affect the other.

It is a very different scenario than the one that Laura got used to when she was only a clinical psychologist. The more she moves forward in her professional career, the more she realizes that learning has no end and that the evolution must be constant. As a psychologist the meeting was more clinical, more with the purpose of diagnosing, mostly using cognitive tools or test batteries.

In that last week that precedes her holidays, Laura sees Marcos and Filipa. In the last sessions, Laura has noticed how Filipa is looser, smiling more and Marcos is less obsessive about controlling everything and being always available, whether it is to Filipa or to other family members. There have been small gestures, like letting the others do what needs to be done, without him “anticipating” it. For example, if someone needs information, like his mother or sister, instead of taking care of the bureaucratic matters, he gives them some tips but lets them handle it.

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